Joe: I can’t wait to come home and lie down on the couch with a beer
Carl: I can’t wait to come home and rip my wife’s panties off
Joe: I don’t understand how you can find the energy?
Carl: I just gotta, they itch like hell…
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to find out the tip of a mans penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and over a million pounds to complete. They found typically the tip is larger than the shaft because it provides more pleasure to the man during sex.
When the study was published, scientists in the United States of America decided the study was insufficient and decided to conduct one of their own. After three years on multiple research studies and collectively spending over two million dollars, they concluded the tip of the penis is larger than the shaft because it provides more pleasure to the woman during sex.
Australian scientists examined the results of the study from Great Britain and from the United States of America and decided the results were inconclusive at best. After three hours of intensive research and $95 (the cost of two cases of beer) the Australian study was complete. They concluded the reason the tip of a penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent the mans hand from flying off and hitting him in the head
Doctor: “What seems to be the problem today?”
Patient: “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time.”
The Doctor nods, “Hmm.”
Patient: “My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes and I’ve farted five times.”
“Hmm,” says the Doctor, as he picks up his pad and writes out a prescription. The patient is thrilled “Thank you Doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?”
“No,” sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses, it stinks like a fermented diaper in here. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test
